Our story isn’t finished! It wasn’t over the day we picked up Aniyah. A new chapter had started. First, I want to go back, back to that period of waiting.

We didn’t write many updates, or tell stories during those months of unknown. Our days were full of going to work, going to church, hanging out with friends, seeing family, building my doula business, working as missionaries at our apartment complex, filling out paperwork, and wondering.

After our home study was complete we set to saving every penny we could, sharing our story as much as was polite, and explaining adoption to many who had LOTS of questions.

Days would go by where we didn’t think about it much and other days when all could think about was what season we would bring our baby home in. What state would this baby be from? What would the mom look like? What kind of expectant mother would choose a couple that was so young? Would we ever have enough funds to present our book to a mother considering adoption?

That last question caught me so many times. With COVID at its height I was unsure we would every raising enough funds, would we be able to save enough? Would we both keep our jobs during this whole thing? Our savings and adoption account grew at a steady and unreassuring rate.

I will never forget the first time I connected with an expectant birth mother. I will still never be able to tell you why her, but I can still tell you her name. When I read the case I wanted to present our book. After talking with Taylor at our consultant company it was apparent we weren’t in a financial place to present. Most of the money was due immediately and we didn’t have half of it. I was so confused, why was I drawn to this case when there was no hope? Was this a sign that we would never be ready?

Why is it so easy to doubt the whole plan at the first sight of trouble? Almost all the adoptive families I have talked with, ready stories from, and listened to on social media have at least one story of completely doubting they should adopt at all before they brought a child home. My consistent doubt was “will we ever be ready at the right time.”

In those times usually it was Dillon who would reassure that we would wait the proper amount of time according to God’s will and our job was to be patient and know that we weren’t in control. Looking back it is much easier to say but we were on God’s timeline. We began the process at the right time, we walked through the home study at the right time, and we presented our book at the right time. We only had to trust that the best things happen when we are not in control.