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Friends & Family

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Well hello!

The holidays are finally over and some semblance of a normal schedule has returned to the Pegram house. We had a lot of fun of Thanksgiving and Christmas spending time with our families. We also were able to go to 4 wedding for friends in December and January, it’s so much fun getting to watch two people become a family. While weddings are gorgeous days for celebrating my favorite part is watching the married couple as they proceed into marriage, it often doesn’t look anything like either of them planned. I will never forget only a couple months into marriage texting my mom asking for prayer over something that my new husband and I were struggling with, she asked if she was allowed to share with a few family friends. Over the next couple of weeks texts would randomly come in at the hardest moments from people letting us know that they were praying. A family of brother and sisters in Christ is an invaluable blessing.

As we got to spend time with family we have just been reminded of the value of family and friends. We have been so blessed with a group of people behind us willing to pray, encourage, correct, support, and love us and we don’t ever want to take that for granted. We have been blown away by the kind of support and encouragement that we have already received.

Most couples have a desire to adopt but end up not pursuing it due to the overwhelming price and the thought of fundraising. When Dillon and I decided to pursue this adoption we had a peace about the finances (Not to say that we have never gawked at the cost or worried how we would actually pull it off). We both have seen over and over that when God calls His people to something He provides the means to do it. We have a peace in knowing that we could not do this by ourselves.

While we prepare for the adoption we are spending a lot of our time doing our best to educate ourselves on adoption. We have learned a lot about the process of adoption, but we have also been learning a lot about what ethical adoption looks like. We have learned that in the history of adoption a lot of the focus has been on the adoptive parents and then on the adopted child. Only in the recent past have we begun to look at the first family as a vital piece of the adoption triad. Dillon and I have been given such a heart for these women who are placing their children for adoption.

Are you interested in learning more about how you can help us in the adoption? As we are learning so much we are reading several books, listening to podcasts, reading experiences and stories from adoptees and birth moms, and more. It can be hard to sort through this information and figure out how to best pass some of this information on to others. Thankfully one of our favorite podcasts recently came out with an episode just for family and friends of those who are adopting. You can listen to this extremely helpful episode on their website or on any podcast player.

We are so grateful for all of the support we have received so far, and we don’t just mean monetarily. Your prayers are not over looked, and the intentionality behind your questions, your willingness to listen to us as we talk through things, and your interest in learning more with us are all things that we so deeply appreciate.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7

Starting Our Home Study

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Consultant companies, fundraising, and more…

Since we announced our adoption plans on August 27th Dillon and I have been working through the steps of setting everything up for this adoption journey. We have been able to sit down with those who have gone before us in the adoption process and started the process of finding more families. (If you have done domestic adoption before please feel free to reach out to us, we are looking for people to share their story so that we can ask all of the questions!)

BIG NEWS: We have chosen our consultant company! This wasn’t an easy task, this company – our consultant, will be the person walking with us through every step of the process. We wanted to choose someone we felt confident and comfortable with while also looking at the company’s policies, standards, and ethics. We are so excited to be working with Mustard Seed Adoption Consultants! With this decision we are finally ready to start our home study and pay our consultant fee.

We have waited to start the home study until we could get the advice of our consultant, who will be able to tell us who they have worked with before, what qualifications we should look for, and those that will provide the best education and preparation for the adoption.

With these steps comes the need to start making payments. These first “smaller” amounts will be a part of the average $40,000 that a domestic infant adoption costs. Our home study will cost any where from $1,300 – $1,600 in North Carolina. We will also pay about $3,000 for our consultant fee. Depending on what day it is, what hour it is, and how Dillon and I have looked at these cost they either seem very doable and simple or an unfathomable amount of money. We have been trying to penny pinch in order to be able to save as much of our own money for this adoption as possible but we know that we would never be able to afford it without fundraising.

We have set a goal to be home study approved by the end of January which would mean that we would have to start our home study by the beginning of December at the latest. We know that every step will happen in God’s timing but we also know that setting goals and a time line helps us as we move through this long process.

We have been thinking through different ways to fund raise the first $4000. One of the ways that we are hoping to raise some money is by partnering with a company that creates custom signs and art for fun Christmas gifts. The woman who runs this company has a huge heart for adoption, is single, and she gives all her proceeds to families that are in the process of adoption. We are currently filling out paperwork to see if we qualify before our home study is competed.

We also, have decided not to start a crowd or fund raising website for the time being. After we are home study approved we will be applying for an adoption grant through our home church, Imago Dei, and through that we will be getting a donation page. All donations that are given through them will be tax deductible.

If you are wanting to make a cash donation to us for the consultant/home study fees you are always welcome to send us a check and just put in the memo that it is for the adoption. If you are wanting to make sure the money is tax deductible you are now able to donate to our church (through their website) and just make sure to notate that it is for the “Pegram Family Adoption”. We will have access to all the money that is donated there.

In looking for ways to raise money I have struggled with the thought of asking our friends and family to help monetarily. I have fund raised many times before for mission trips and camp but never an amount of this magnitude. In my selfishness I have not wanted to ask for help in this way but I have had to remind myself over and over that this is what the body of Christ is for. If Dillon and I were able to pay for this adoption all by ourselves we would but we know that God will be glorified through the body of Christ working together to care for an orphan child and any expectant mothers along this journey.

Please pray for Dillon and I as we begin to start (what feels like never ending) paperwork for this adoption. Also, be praying for wisdom and grace as we start the fund raising and home study process and all the decisions that will come along with it.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 12: 4-5

From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:16

Orphan Care and the Community

Kirsten P.1 Comment

How caring for the orphan doesn’t have to mean adoption for every family.

I have known for a long time that my call to care for the orphan would include adoption. It was hard being 16 and wanting to adopt because I knew that I would have to wait… several years. When I turned 18 I stared exploring adoption as a single (and very young) woman. It was difficult to realize that the best course of action for both myself and a child would be to wait, wait until I was older and wait until I could offer a home, a mother, and a father.

What I learned at 18 was that I was in no way ready to adopt but that didn’t mean I couldn’t still care for the orphan. Orphan care can look like a lot of different things. It can look like welcoming a foster kid into your home, or it can be babysitting for a family with a foster child so they can have a break for a few hours. It can look like teaching a kid who grew up with out a present father how to change a tire or the oil and what biblical manhood looks like. It looks like inviting someone over for dinner whose mom has passed and showing them what family can look like. It can als looks like giving monthly to support a child who lives in another country. It can be supporting a families who live overseas and who are caring for orphans. Orphan care can be giving monetarily or helping fundraise for a family who is pursuing adoption.

The definition of an orphan is “one deprived of some protection or advantage” or “a child deprived by death of one or both parents” by the Merriam Webster dictionary. I think there is a reason why God commands us to care for the orphan rather than adopt the orphan. There are things that we are commanded to do in the bible that we cannot do as a single person, it requires the community of Christ to strive for the same thing together. I believe that this is how we should view adoption.

We believe that our number one purpose for living is to bring glory to God every day with our actions, our words, and our hearts. We can do this through marriage, through our family, through our work, and through ministry. We do not value orphan care above caring for the needy, seeking justice, caring for the widow, or spreading the gospel, but we do feel a strong calling that this is what God has for us. We believe that we will bring glory to God through this adoption and through discipling a child.

The whole purpose of this post is to explain our vision and to ask you to help us raise the funds for adoption. We don’t ask for your help in this way just because we need funds, we ask you to come along side us in this and fulfill your call to care for the orphan. You may not be in a season where you can adopt or you may not feel called to adoption but you know that you are called to care for the orphan. This is just one more way that you can advance God’s kingdom and bring glory to Him.

We are also going to ask that you pray for Dillon and I. What I mean by that is that you surround us in prayer over these next couple months and years. We have a God that commands angelic armies and we know that prayer is one the most powerful weapons against sin and brokenness. We are so excited to see how God will stir in the hearts of those around us and how the call to care for the orphan will grow in others. We are also excited to see how God will work in these coming month and want to thank you in advance for your love and generosity.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good … encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25