Part 2 – time lines, money & prayer questions, answers to the questions everyone is asking.
How long is it going to take?
This is probably the number one question we get. In short we do not know the timeline. We do know that God does though. We have learned that a fast adoption doesn’t always mean a good adoption. We are consciously taking the ethical route to the best of our ability and understand that may mean a longer wait. In the end we would prefer that we can look at our child and their biological mother and say with confidence that our decisions were based on what is best for them and not what got us what we wanted when we wanted it.
Do you still want you own children?
First: Whenever we bring home the child we adopt they will be our own. We know that we will be able to love a child that is adopted just as much as we would be able to love a biological child. Secondly: We are open to building our family whatever way God sees fit. We know that at any point God could heal whatever is broken and bless us with a healthy pregnancy, but in the end we believe with all our hearts that if that isn’t the case that God will be glorified through our struggles and that His ways are better than our own.
What happens if a mother decides to parent?
Then praise God. An expectant mother doesn’t terminate her parental rights until a couple days after the baby is born. In those few days in the hospital that mother is able to hold her child, bond, breastfeed, take pictures and make sure that she is positive that placing her child for adoption is the right option for her. In these few days some mothers do decided that they feel capable of raising their child and being a mom to their child. While we would love nothing more than to bring a child into our family we desperately want the child’s mother to have as little doubt as possible that she made the right decision. When an expectant mother decides to raise her child we will be heart broken and joyous at the same time and will keep her in our prayers.
Another reason that we get asked this question is because people want to know if we will get the funds that helped the mother through the pregnancy reimbursed. The short answer is no. While this would be hard those funds are not reimbursable as they went to support an expectant mother. We are looking at this as a way we can bless a mother who needed financial help during her pregnancy.
What happens if you get scammed?
We understand that while this is a possibility there is actually a low probability of this happening. Unfortunately drama is what sells, the few stories of adoption scams get widely published and talked about while the stories of calm adoptions go by quietly. We have also taken the necessary precautions like going through an agency and using a lawyer instead of self matching or self advertising.
How can we help?
Continue to pray for us as we walk through this time and come along side us in anyway you feel you can. Allow the Lord to work though you in this time to support us in anyway you feel fit. There are consistent decisions that we need to make so praying that God would give us wisdom through this process is always helpful. Ask questions, we enjoy talking about the good parts, and the hard parts. We would also really appreciate it if you would pray for the expectant mother and baby that we get matched with, that they would be healthy and that God would protect them wherever they are.
How much do you have left to raise?
We won’t know how much the adoption will cost until after we are matched and chosen by an expectant mother. In the meantime we are estimating that the adoption will cost $39,000. This could be an over-estimation or an under-estimation, but we won’t know the solid number realistically until everything is said and done.
When is the next fundraiser?
We have a couple fundraising ideas in the works but don’t have anything nailed down. The next big cost will be our home study. We have paid our home study application fee and have $1,500 that will be due in chunks over the next couple of months. While we don’t have an organized fundraiser we will always be selling coffee through Gobena and our adoption shirts through Bonfire. We have been amazed by all the support that we have received already, when you buy a bag or 4 of coffee or a shirt that money is easily accessed and can go towards things like application fees, profile books, ect that will be a regular occurrence the more we pursue the adoption.
What happens if you raise more than you need?
If we end up raising more funds that we need for the adoption we have a couple of options and depending on how much extra was raised and based on the donors preferences we would like to give the extra funds to an organization that helps birth mothers adjust to life after placement. If and when this becomes a reality we will be very honest and open with what we are doing with the raised money.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12