adoption

What Happens in the Wait

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Our story isn’t finished! It wasn’t over the day we picked up Aniyah. A new chapter had started. First, I want to go back, back to that period of waiting.

We didn’t write many updates, or tell stories during those months of unknown. Our days were full of going to work, going to church, hanging out with friends, seeing family, building my doula business, working as missionaries at our apartment complex, filling out paperwork, and wondering.

After our home study was complete we set to saving every penny we could, sharing our story as much as was polite, and explaining adoption to many who had LOTS of questions.

Days would go by where we didn’t think about it much and other days when all could think about was what season we would bring our baby home in. What state would this baby be from? What would the mom look like? What kind of expectant mother would choose a couple that was so young? Would we ever have enough funds to present our book to a mother considering adoption?

That last question caught me so many times. With COVID at its height I was unsure we would every raising enough funds, would we be able to save enough? Would we both keep our jobs during this whole thing? Our savings and adoption account grew at a steady and unreassuring rate.

I will never forget the first time I connected with an expectant birth mother. I will still never be able to tell you why her, but I can still tell you her name. When I read the case I wanted to present our book. After talking with Taylor at our consultant company it was apparent we weren’t in a financial place to present. Most of the money was due immediately and we didn’t have half of it. I was so confused, why was I drawn to this case when there was no hope? Was this a sign that we would never be ready?

Why is it so easy to doubt the whole plan at the first sight of trouble? Almost all the adoptive families I have talked with, ready stories from, and listened to on social media have at least one story of completely doubting they should adopt at all before they brought a child home. My consistent doubt was “will we ever be ready at the right time.”

In those times usually it was Dillon who would reassure that we would wait the proper amount of time according to God’s will and our job was to be patient and know that we weren’t in control. Looking back it is much easier to say but we were on God’s timeline. We began the process at the right time, we walked through the home study at the right time, and we presented our book at the right time. We only had to trust that the best things happen when we are not in control.

Frequently Asked Questions

Aside Dillon P.Leave a comment

Part 1 – You asked, we did our best to answer!

Where are you adopting from?

We are adopting domestically, which just means from the US. We are not going through the foster care system but are going through private adoption. This means that on average the children are newborns up to about two years old.

Why aren’t you doing foster care?

We have gotten this question often especially when we start talking about the cost of private adoption. While we have a heart for foster care we came to the place last summer where we realized that foster care at this time is not for us. When stepping into foster care the goal needs to be family re-unification not adoption. These journeys have similarities but are honestly two very different journeys with very different goals. This difference and the unpredictability of foster care have led us to pursue domestic private adoption.

Why aren’t you doing international adoption?

Each country has their own requirements for adoption but most countries have requirements for length of marriage, age of both spouses, ect. When we did our research for international adoption we realized that we were extremely limited in our choices of countries and decided that we would rather wait and be able to make a decision later on in life on whether or not we would adopt internationally. This decision isn’t really on a monetary decision as the cost for domestic adoption and international adoption are not extremely different depending on the situation and the country.

Why does it cost so much?

The shock is always evident when we explain the costs behind domestic adoption. The fees and costs involve many different government officials who have to do paper work and the legal matters to insure that all goes smoothly. Honestly it is difficult to swallow the cost because people want to adopt but feel they can’t afford it. We recognize that there is a real issue with the cost and this is primarily the adoption professional’s fault. The “ick factor” of the adoption business, is just that, a money making business, some professionals profit greatly from this work. It is not OK. As we pursue adoption we are making a concerted effort to scrutinize each professional expense to the best of our ability and to hold the adoption professionals that we use to not only legal standards but ethical standards.

Are you open to any race or ethnicity?

Absolutely, and we feel that the Lord is leading us to do this. This decision isn’t one made in ignorance though. We have spent countless hours already leaning in to what this would mean for us, our families, our community, and the child that is placed in our home. We didn’t come to this decision because we “didn’t want to be racist” or because “the wait for a white baby is longer”, rather we have done our best to make sure that this was an educated decision.

What is the difference between and open, semi-open, or closed adoption?

Openness refers to the relationships with the first or biological family. There has been a large out of research that has come out in recent years that points to the openness in adoption to be beneficial for all sides of the triad. Openness can be anything from letters and pictures sent a certain number of times a year to visiting with biological family. This decision is ultimately made by the birth mother but is not something that is enforced after the adoption is finalized. This is the relational part of the adoption, this is the part where we recognize the beautiful pieces and the hard pieces of adoption.

Why do you want to do an open adoption?

We are greatly hoping for an open adoption and would have to really pray through a closed adoption if that is what the birth mother wants. In the end because openness is not enforced after adoption it becomes a relationship between the adopted family and the biological family after placement. Each situation is different and can change in the years following placement. From our side of things we have determined to do what is best for the child not what is most comfortable for us and we will pursue openness whenever possible.

Have a question for us? Message us and ask, we love talking about the real pieces of this adoption. We will post another blog with some more questions in a few days!

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

Psalm 133:1

T Shirts and Coffee!

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

It’s Fundraising Time!!

There hasn’t been any real tangible updates so far, until now! We have completed the application to our consultant company and filled out all the paperwork for our first grant and fundraising page. So much of the work so far has been behind the scenes, and mostly in our heads. Finally we are ready to start putting out tangible ways that others can help us on this journey and we are more than ready.

We are working on starting our home study which I mentioned in our last update. We still need $4,000 and have finally decided on a few ways we would like to ask for your help.

The first way is through our T shirt fundraiser. A lot of thought went into these shirts and we hope you love them as much as we do! The proceeds will go to help us start our home study. We have HUGE goal of 120 shirts but we are reaching high and hoping that our many communities will be as excited about these shirts as we are. The shirts are very general so sharing them with your family and friends even if they don’t know us would be a huge blessing. Also, if you order your shirt by November 27th it will be here before Christmas.

Make sure to read the bottom our our t shirt page as it explains the inspiration and reason behind our design! The more shirts we sell per batch the more money per shirt is raised.

We are also going to be partnering with Gobena Coffee. Who doesn’t love coffee right? By purchasing your coffee through Gobena they will give 50% of every purchase that is made through our page into our adoption fund. Dillon and I love the passion and purpose of Gobena. You can read their story here! They have a huge heart for orphan care and have some great coffee options and even have gift baskets right in time to get a gift for the coffee lover in your life.

If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to us. We would love for prayer as we save funds each month in order to get us closer to starting our home study. We would love to start our home study before the new year but know that God’s timing is perfect.

Starting Our Home Study

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Consultant companies, fundraising, and more…

Since we announced our adoption plans on August 27th Dillon and I have been working through the steps of setting everything up for this adoption journey. We have been able to sit down with those who have gone before us in the adoption process and started the process of finding more families. (If you have done domestic adoption before please feel free to reach out to us, we are looking for people to share their story so that we can ask all of the questions!)

BIG NEWS: We have chosen our consultant company! This wasn’t an easy task, this company – our consultant, will be the person walking with us through every step of the process. We wanted to choose someone we felt confident and comfortable with while also looking at the company’s policies, standards, and ethics. We are so excited to be working with Mustard Seed Adoption Consultants! With this decision we are finally ready to start our home study and pay our consultant fee.

We have waited to start the home study until we could get the advice of our consultant, who will be able to tell us who they have worked with before, what qualifications we should look for, and those that will provide the best education and preparation for the adoption.

With these steps comes the need to start making payments. These first “smaller” amounts will be a part of the average $40,000 that a domestic infant adoption costs. Our home study will cost any where from $1,300 – $1,600 in North Carolina. We will also pay about $3,000 for our consultant fee. Depending on what day it is, what hour it is, and how Dillon and I have looked at these cost they either seem very doable and simple or an unfathomable amount of money. We have been trying to penny pinch in order to be able to save as much of our own money for this adoption as possible but we know that we would never be able to afford it without fundraising.

We have set a goal to be home study approved by the end of January which would mean that we would have to start our home study by the beginning of December at the latest. We know that every step will happen in God’s timing but we also know that setting goals and a time line helps us as we move through this long process.

We have been thinking through different ways to fund raise the first $4000. One of the ways that we are hoping to raise some money is by partnering with a company that creates custom signs and art for fun Christmas gifts. The woman who runs this company has a huge heart for adoption, is single, and she gives all her proceeds to families that are in the process of adoption. We are currently filling out paperwork to see if we qualify before our home study is competed.

We also, have decided not to start a crowd or fund raising website for the time being. After we are home study approved we will be applying for an adoption grant through our home church, Imago Dei, and through that we will be getting a donation page. All donations that are given through them will be tax deductible.

If you are wanting to make a cash donation to us for the consultant/home study fees you are always welcome to send us a check and just put in the memo that it is for the adoption. If you are wanting to make sure the money is tax deductible you are now able to donate to our church (through their website) and just make sure to notate that it is for the “Pegram Family Adoption”. We will have access to all the money that is donated there.

In looking for ways to raise money I have struggled with the thought of asking our friends and family to help monetarily. I have fund raised many times before for mission trips and camp but never an amount of this magnitude. In my selfishness I have not wanted to ask for help in this way but I have had to remind myself over and over that this is what the body of Christ is for. If Dillon and I were able to pay for this adoption all by ourselves we would but we know that God will be glorified through the body of Christ working together to care for an orphan child and any expectant mothers along this journey.

Please pray for Dillon and I as we begin to start (what feels like never ending) paperwork for this adoption. Also, be praying for wisdom and grace as we start the fund raising and home study process and all the decisions that will come along with it.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 12: 4-5

From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:16

Consultant Company or Placement Agency

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

When we started looking into the first steps we realized that the agency or consultant company was an important decision. The company you choose will be responsible for sending your profiles of expectant mothers, presenting you to these mothers, answering your questions, referring you to attorneys, and home study companies. They are your main point of contact.

One of our big goals is to adopt ethically. This may seem like a given but the ins and outs can be a little foggy. Part of adopting ethically is making sure that the expectant or birth mother is treated with dignity and respect. Adopting ethically also means knowing where your money is going, unfortunately there are too many people who seek to take advantage of expectant mothers and hopeful adoptive parents and while there are something that you just couldn’t know ahead of time having a company who is paying attention to red flags is a must.

Consultant companies are usually non-profit companies that can be a middle man hopeful adoptive parents. Consultant companies are hired usually at the beginning and they refer you to home study companies, help you figure out how to fund raise, save your money, and apply for grants. They also are there to point you to resources and answer your many questions as you walk through this journey.

Consultant companies also make it so that you do not have to pick one agency and wait until they have an expectant mother to match you with. Some agencies match quickly because they have an abundant amount of expectant mothers who trust them and other have more waiting families than they have expectant mothers. Some couples wait years because most agencies require a large upfront payment (sometimes half the adoption costs) and then they don’t have many opportunities to present or sometimes you may have preferences that don’t match what this agency’s mothers fit.

When Dillon and I were looking at both consultant companies and placement agencies we didn’t feel too strongly one way or the other. As we began to search the list of possible consultants that we liked and we felt comfortable grew while the list of agencies stayed small. As we researched the benefits and the cons of consultant companies we realized that the helpfulness, and the intimacy offered by a consultant company would be invaluable and was just what we were looking for.

This means that we will hire a consultant company before starting our home study so that we can get first hand knowledge on the best company near us as the home study is a very important and educational piece of this puzzle. This also means that we will be presented to mothers from multiple agencies and then once we are matched we will essentially be matched with an agency as well.

One of the more difficult things about going with a consultant is that we are not specifically looking at the agency requirements and ethics until after we are matched with an expectant mother. We have made sure to choose consultant companies that pay close attention to the ethics of the agencies that they work with and we feel such a peace in this decision.

Right now we have two christian consultant companies that we are deciding between. Both have excellent reviews, are professional and easy to reach, and line up with what we are looking for. The main differences are the way that expectant mothers are presented and the length of time that the agencies have been practicing, one has been around much longer and the other is newer. We would love your prayer as we seek God’s wisdom in this decision, we really don’t feel like there is a right or wrong answer but more are trying to make a big decision.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

Orphan Care and the Community

Kirsten P.1 Comment

How caring for the orphan doesn’t have to mean adoption for every family.

I have known for a long time that my call to care for the orphan would include adoption. It was hard being 16 and wanting to adopt because I knew that I would have to wait… several years. When I turned 18 I stared exploring adoption as a single (and very young) woman. It was difficult to realize that the best course of action for both myself and a child would be to wait, wait until I was older and wait until I could offer a home, a mother, and a father.

What I learned at 18 was that I was in no way ready to adopt but that didn’t mean I couldn’t still care for the orphan. Orphan care can look like a lot of different things. It can look like welcoming a foster kid into your home, or it can be babysitting for a family with a foster child so they can have a break for a few hours. It can look like teaching a kid who grew up with out a present father how to change a tire or the oil and what biblical manhood looks like. It looks like inviting someone over for dinner whose mom has passed and showing them what family can look like. It can als looks like giving monthly to support a child who lives in another country. It can be supporting a families who live overseas and who are caring for orphans. Orphan care can be giving monetarily or helping fundraise for a family who is pursuing adoption.

The definition of an orphan is “one deprived of some protection or advantage” or “a child deprived by death of one or both parents” by the Merriam Webster dictionary. I think there is a reason why God commands us to care for the orphan rather than adopt the orphan. There are things that we are commanded to do in the bible that we cannot do as a single person, it requires the community of Christ to strive for the same thing together. I believe that this is how we should view adoption.

We believe that our number one purpose for living is to bring glory to God every day with our actions, our words, and our hearts. We can do this through marriage, through our family, through our work, and through ministry. We do not value orphan care above caring for the needy, seeking justice, caring for the widow, or spreading the gospel, but we do feel a strong calling that this is what God has for us. We believe that we will bring glory to God through this adoption and through discipling a child.

The whole purpose of this post is to explain our vision and to ask you to help us raise the funds for adoption. We don’t ask for your help in this way just because we need funds, we ask you to come along side us in this and fulfill your call to care for the orphan. You may not be in a season where you can adopt or you may not feel called to adoption but you know that you are called to care for the orphan. This is just one more way that you can advance God’s kingdom and bring glory to Him.

We are also going to ask that you pray for Dillon and I. What I mean by that is that you surround us in prayer over these next couple months and years. We have a God that commands angelic armies and we know that prayer is one the most powerful weapons against sin and brokenness. We are so excited to see how God will stir in the hearts of those around us and how the call to care for the orphan will grow in others. We are also excited to see how God will work in these coming month and want to thank you in advance for your love and generosity.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good … encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25

Basics

Kirsten P.Leave a comment

What is the big picture of domestic infant adoption?

One of the first things I did when we started this process was join one of the bigger domestic adoption support groups on Facebook. I have known many families who have done foster care, adopted out of foster care, and adopted internationally. I knew a lot less couples who had done domestic adoption and even fewer who had done so in the last 3 years (things change all the time in the adoption world). I knew I needed to dip my feet in someone and learn where a good starting point was.

So there is a general flow of adoption…

  1. The Home study (can take anywhere from 2 to 11 weeks)
  2. Creating the family portfolio
  3. The Wait (the average pre-placement is anywhere from a few weeks-4 years)
  4. Getting Matched ( a couple can match with more than one expectant mother before an adoption)
  5. The birth of the child and Termination of Parental rights
  6. Finalization

The home study usually the first official step for any type of adoption and the home study varies based on if it is for a domestic adoption, international adoption, or foster to adopt. The home study, while it does include a walk through of your living space, is not really about your home. The home study is the assessment of the couple or family that would be adopting a child and their ability and readiness to go through the process. Your home study is completed by a social worker. They will walk through the house, set up interviews, and provide education on how to prepare for adoption. The majority of couples who apply for a home study are approved as long as they are ready emotionally, monetarily, and physically, they have a safe home, and are prepared for adoption.

The purpose of creating a family portfolio or adoption book, is so that you can be presented to expectant mothers. These books usually contain a “Dear Expectant Mother letter” and photos of the couple of family. Each expectant mother is looking for something different when they decide to place their child. Your family book just helps a mom get to know the kind of family that her child would grow up with. Our goal in our book is to be open and honest with who we are and what kind of family we have.
P.S. if you have any good or raw pictures of Dillon or I that you think belong in our family portfolio feel free to email them to me. Sometimes candid photos can capture people much better than posed pictures can.

The most known part of adoption is the wait. There are an almost equal number of families that have had a baby placed within 6 months of being home study approved and those that have waited years for placement. This is also considered one of the hardest parts of adoption. We are praying now that we would be able to tackle the waiting period with patience, grace, and contentment. One of the benefits of the wait is it gives us time to gather the money that is required when you are matched.

Getting matched means that we were presented to an expectant mother who choose to match with us. We love that while we get to choose what mothers we want to be presented to the expectant mother gets to have the final decision. While it can be hard to hear that an expectant mother didn’t pick you we know that God has a plan for each and every one of us involved in this process. (Feel free to remind us of that in the midst of this coming season.)

While it feels like this should be the last step placement is only the beginning of the end. Placement can take many forms. There is something called a stork drop where a mother did not make an adoption plan prior to going into the hospital or choose a family and she places the child for adoption. The more common situation would be matching with an expectant mother and then waiting until she goes into labor and then driving or flying to whatever state she is in. Expectant months sign the TPR (Termination of parental rights) usually when she is discharged from the hospital. After the TPR has been signed based on each state’s laws the mother has a certain amount of time before she can revoke her terminal, this is called the revocation period. After the TPR has been signed and the revocation period has passed the child would legally be ours.

The final step is finalization, where we would go before a judge and receive a revised birth certificate where our names and our child’s would be changed. These are the cute pictures that you see taken in the courthouse with a judge and while this is the last piece to make the adoption final we know that it doesn’t erase the fact that this child was born to another family. We are hoping to have a semi-open or an open adoption were we will be able to send pictures and updates to the birth parents or family and possibly even have the birth mother meet our family and visit with her biological child. Numerous studies have shown that adoptees that always knew they were adopted and were apart of an open adoption have less trauma that those in a closed adoption. While this would be our preference we understand that this is up to the birth mother’s decision and can change over the years.

We would ask that as you pray for us in this process that you would also pray for the expectant mothers that we will interact with and for our eventual child. We also would ask that you would learn a little about kind and considerate language in regards to adoption and expectant parents. We seek to glorify Christ with everything that we do in this process and the beginning of that is caring for others and their hearts.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:9-10

The First Steps

Kirsten P.Leave a comment

and what I have learned so far.

At the end of this journey these days will feel like a blur. This season of learning, searching, and praying will quickly fade, this is the quiet stage and not everyone talks about it. All the sudden there is a Facebook update announcing “We are adopting” or “We are home study approved”. Usually your immediate response it “where did this come from?”. These decisions usually come from an unseen season where a couple feels the call of adoption is their next step.

The cute “we are adopting” post is coming but, there are just so many things that proceeded that announcement. I want to share that with you in the hopes that you will be able to ask us the hard questions, support us, and learn along with us. Very few people wake up one day and decide they are going to do something as life changing as adoption and then post it on Facebook.

Research. That’s my jam! We had agreed to pray about the possibility that now was the season to start the adoption process. I felt a calmness as I searched for answers on “how to start adoption?”, “how do you pick an agency?”, and “what are the legal requirements for adoption?”. The large price didn’t shock me, but it did make me wonder how to start the process of saving that money.

I am definitely a verbal processor and I like to know what I am doing before I jump into anything. I set up a coffee date with a mom that I knew was pursuing domestic adoption and text another mom who had completed a domestic adoption 2 years prior and asked for their advice and help.

Here are the things that I have learned in the last 2 months as I have dove deep into the world of adoption…

  • Adoption contains a triad – the adoptive parents, the adoptee, and the birth family
  • Language is important – did you know that calling a woman a birth mother before she has signed away her rights is hurtful and offensive. She is an expectant parent considering and possible making an adoption plan until after the baby has been born and she makes it legal.
  • It is important to adopt ethically – this phrase seems like common sense but the implications to this can be complicated and take dedication, hard work, and prayer.
  • Adoption is not 100% beautiful and is it not 100% ugly – The common phrases “adoption is a beautiful picture of love”, “adoption is so pure”, “adoption is the gospel” all ignore the difficult aspects of adoption and put a rose color lens on adoption. Anyone who understands the love that parents have for their children can quickly see how hard the process of letting your child grow up with parents other than yourself. There is trauma involved for both the birth mother and the adoptee. I want to talk about this more but its going to need its own post.
  • Adoption is not man’s idea – the idea of adoption is God’s, he has adopted each Christian as a child of His own and brought us into his family through salvation.

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Psalm 68:5-6

My Reason Why

Dillon P.Leave a comment

Adoption. Kirsten and I started talking about it when we started dating. What should we do? When should we adopt? Why should we? Can we make this work? These were the question that were running through my head and some of those questions are still running through my head now. My then girlfriend and now wife continued to have these conversations with me but nothing seemed to take place towards starting the process. We loved the idea of adding a little kiddo to our family but we didn’t know what that looked like until just recently.

My wife and I have had our fair share of struggles in the 2 years we have been married. We have lost 3 children and that has been hard to cope with and learn how to love God in our valley and walk forward in our call to glorify Christ. We lost Matthias, Avery, and Riley, but they are with the Lord and they will dwell in His house forever.

I say this because adoption has never been our back up plan, nor has it been an answer to loss, rather it is the call on my wife and I to love the lost and care for the orphan. This is a priority to us and to adopt means that we are helping the child not only by giving them a life they deserve but by making Jesus a priority in their lives.

Our intention through this process is not that we would just be given a kid. We are here so that Christ would be known and that we would be a light in dark places. We are here to care for the orphan and the widow. We are here because we were given the ultimate sacrifice in Jesus and the sacrifice that he made on the cross, so that we could be called children of God because we have been adopted for life.

God has been good to us through these years of knowing each other and we are looking forward to this adventure together. Pray that we would see what the Lord wants us to see and we would not only rely on Him, but that we would find our strength in Him.

Why Now?

Kirsten P.Leave a comment

I am a planner, type-a, list making, google calendar fiend! I like to dream, make goals, accomplish tasks, and improve. I grew up making plans for my life. In Awanas when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew I wanted to be a mom. In high school I didn’t want to date for fun, I was looking for a husband (maybe a little too early but what can you do). I decided I wanted to adopt from Central or South America and I wanted a big family.

My desire was always to adopt. I wasn’t ever afraid of having a baby (like some friends) I figured it would be worth it. I decided in high school that I wanted to have my own baby and then start adopting. I wanted people to know that adoption wasn’t my plan B. Adoption was my plan A from the beginning, I loved that people who couldn’t have their own children wanted to adopt but I didn’t think that should be my story.

When I met my husband I made it clear that adoption was in my future and wanted to make sure that there was a clear priority. At that point I had been made aware that having my own children might not be simple. I tried to remember that women who have been told they would never have children have gone on to be some of the most fertile women. I just assumed I would join their ranks.

2 years after our wedding Dillon and I have been on a roller coaster. Just 3 months after our wedding I had a test in hard that said I was pregnant. There was so much fear, Dillon was still in school and looking for a better job, and we were trying to figure out what living life together looked like. I was in love immediately though, I didn’t really believe that all couples need 2-3 years together before they have a baby. If this was when God choose to give me a baby I was more than OK with it. After months of being on edge and waiting for the shoe to drop I had a second trimester miscarriage. It was the beginning of our journey through recurrent loss and infertility.

Months of endless tests, trying month after month, consistent vials of blood, needle pricks and ultrasounds we didn’t have any more answers. A 13 week loss and then a 5 week loss, I was at my wits end. No one tells you that being faithful is easy, there were times (and I am sure they will come again) that I seriously questioned whether God was still listening to me.

I always assumed that when Dillon and I started the adoption process we would have a biological child and be “grown ups” (no one really knows what that means). That is not the plan that God had for us.

My best friend had asked me a couple times if I still wanted to adopt and I kept saying that I did but not yet. I wasn’t sure why not yet, Dillon and I had considered starting foster care over the last year and realized that it wasn’t the right season. So why not adoption? I was hooked on my idea of the perfect adoption. I didn’t want anyone to assume that we adopted because we couldn’t have a biological child. On a Saturday morning, Dillon and I were at work and our Elder called. He wanted to check in on us and ask if we had considered adoption as an option. When Dillon told him that we wanted to we just didn’t know if we had the funds (very few people have the funds) He let us know that the church would help if we decided that was what was next for us.

That is where it began. Someone offering to walk with us through the journey was all the push I needed to understand that once again my plan was just that, a plan. God knows what He is doing, me on the other hand, not really.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21