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What Happens in the Wait

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Our story isn’t finished! It wasn’t over the day we picked up Aniyah. A new chapter had started. First, I want to go back, back to that period of waiting.

We didn’t write many updates, or tell stories during those months of unknown. Our days were full of going to work, going to church, hanging out with friends, seeing family, building my doula business, working as missionaries at our apartment complex, filling out paperwork, and wondering.

After our home study was complete we set to saving every penny we could, sharing our story as much as was polite, and explaining adoption to many who had LOTS of questions.

Days would go by where we didn’t think about it much and other days when all could think about was what season we would bring our baby home in. What state would this baby be from? What would the mom look like? What kind of expectant mother would choose a couple that was so young? Would we ever have enough funds to present our book to a mother considering adoption?

That last question caught me so many times. With COVID at its height I was unsure we would every raising enough funds, would we be able to save enough? Would we both keep our jobs during this whole thing? Our savings and adoption account grew at a steady and unreassuring rate.

I will never forget the first time I connected with an expectant birth mother. I will still never be able to tell you why her, but I can still tell you her name. When I read the case I wanted to present our book. After talking with Taylor at our consultant company it was apparent we weren’t in a financial place to present. Most of the money was due immediately and we didn’t have half of it. I was so confused, why was I drawn to this case when there was no hope? Was this a sign that we would never be ready?

Why is it so easy to doubt the whole plan at the first sight of trouble? Almost all the adoptive families I have talked with, ready stories from, and listened to on social media have at least one story of completely doubting they should adopt at all before they brought a child home. My consistent doubt was “will we ever be ready at the right time.”

In those times usually it was Dillon who would reassure that we would wait the proper amount of time according to God’s will and our job was to be patient and know that we weren’t in control. Looking back it is much easier to say but we were on God’s timeline. We began the process at the right time, we walked through the home study at the right time, and we presented our book at the right time. We only had to trust that the best things happen when we are not in control.

T Shirts and Coffee!

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

It’s Fundraising Time!!

There hasn’t been any real tangible updates so far, until now! We have completed the application to our consultant company and filled out all the paperwork for our first grant and fundraising page. So much of the work so far has been behind the scenes, and mostly in our heads. Finally we are ready to start putting out tangible ways that others can help us on this journey and we are more than ready.

We are working on starting our home study which I mentioned in our last update. We still need $4,000 and have finally decided on a few ways we would like to ask for your help.

The first way is through our T shirt fundraiser. A lot of thought went into these shirts and we hope you love them as much as we do! The proceeds will go to help us start our home study. We have HUGE goal of 120 shirts but we are reaching high and hoping that our many communities will be as excited about these shirts as we are. The shirts are very general so sharing them with your family and friends even if they don’t know us would be a huge blessing. Also, if you order your shirt by November 27th it will be here before Christmas.

Make sure to read the bottom our our t shirt page as it explains the inspiration and reason behind our design! The more shirts we sell per batch the more money per shirt is raised.

We are also going to be partnering with Gobena Coffee. Who doesn’t love coffee right? By purchasing your coffee through Gobena they will give 50% of every purchase that is made through our page into our adoption fund. Dillon and I love the passion and purpose of Gobena. You can read their story here! They have a huge heart for orphan care and have some great coffee options and even have gift baskets right in time to get a gift for the coffee lover in your life.

If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to us. We would love for prayer as we save funds each month in order to get us closer to starting our home study. We would love to start our home study before the new year but know that God’s timing is perfect.

Starting Our Home Study

Aside Kirsten P.Leave a comment

Consultant companies, fundraising, and more…

Since we announced our adoption plans on August 27th Dillon and I have been working through the steps of setting everything up for this adoption journey. We have been able to sit down with those who have gone before us in the adoption process and started the process of finding more families. (If you have done domestic adoption before please feel free to reach out to us, we are looking for people to share their story so that we can ask all of the questions!)

BIG NEWS: We have chosen our consultant company! This wasn’t an easy task, this company – our consultant, will be the person walking with us through every step of the process. We wanted to choose someone we felt confident and comfortable with while also looking at the company’s policies, standards, and ethics. We are so excited to be working with Mustard Seed Adoption Consultants! With this decision we are finally ready to start our home study and pay our consultant fee.

We have waited to start the home study until we could get the advice of our consultant, who will be able to tell us who they have worked with before, what qualifications we should look for, and those that will provide the best education and preparation for the adoption.

With these steps comes the need to start making payments. These first “smaller” amounts will be a part of the average $40,000 that a domestic infant adoption costs. Our home study will cost any where from $1,300 – $1,600 in North Carolina. We will also pay about $3,000 for our consultant fee. Depending on what day it is, what hour it is, and how Dillon and I have looked at these cost they either seem very doable and simple or an unfathomable amount of money. We have been trying to penny pinch in order to be able to save as much of our own money for this adoption as possible but we know that we would never be able to afford it without fundraising.

We have set a goal to be home study approved by the end of January which would mean that we would have to start our home study by the beginning of December at the latest. We know that every step will happen in God’s timing but we also know that setting goals and a time line helps us as we move through this long process.

We have been thinking through different ways to fund raise the first $4000. One of the ways that we are hoping to raise some money is by partnering with a company that creates custom signs and art for fun Christmas gifts. The woman who runs this company has a huge heart for adoption, is single, and she gives all her proceeds to families that are in the process of adoption. We are currently filling out paperwork to see if we qualify before our home study is competed.

We also, have decided not to start a crowd or fund raising website for the time being. After we are home study approved we will be applying for an adoption grant through our home church, Imago Dei, and through that we will be getting a donation page. All donations that are given through them will be tax deductible.

If you are wanting to make a cash donation to us for the consultant/home study fees you are always welcome to send us a check and just put in the memo that it is for the adoption. If you are wanting to make sure the money is tax deductible you are now able to donate to our church (through their website) and just make sure to notate that it is for the “Pegram Family Adoption”. We will have access to all the money that is donated there.

In looking for ways to raise money I have struggled with the thought of asking our friends and family to help monetarily. I have fund raised many times before for mission trips and camp but never an amount of this magnitude. In my selfishness I have not wanted to ask for help in this way but I have had to remind myself over and over that this is what the body of Christ is for. If Dillon and I were able to pay for this adoption all by ourselves we would but we know that God will be glorified through the body of Christ working together to care for an orphan child and any expectant mothers along this journey.

Please pray for Dillon and I as we begin to start (what feels like never ending) paperwork for this adoption. Also, be praying for wisdom and grace as we start the fund raising and home study process and all the decisions that will come along with it.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 12: 4-5

From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:16

Why Now?

Kirsten P.Leave a comment

I am a planner, type-a, list making, google calendar fiend! I like to dream, make goals, accomplish tasks, and improve. I grew up making plans for my life. In Awanas when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew I wanted to be a mom. In high school I didn’t want to date for fun, I was looking for a husband (maybe a little too early but what can you do). I decided I wanted to adopt from Central or South America and I wanted a big family.

My desire was always to adopt. I wasn’t ever afraid of having a baby (like some friends) I figured it would be worth it. I decided in high school that I wanted to have my own baby and then start adopting. I wanted people to know that adoption wasn’t my plan B. Adoption was my plan A from the beginning, I loved that people who couldn’t have their own children wanted to adopt but I didn’t think that should be my story.

When I met my husband I made it clear that adoption was in my future and wanted to make sure that there was a clear priority. At that point I had been made aware that having my own children might not be simple. I tried to remember that women who have been told they would never have children have gone on to be some of the most fertile women. I just assumed I would join their ranks.

2 years after our wedding Dillon and I have been on a roller coaster. Just 3 months after our wedding I had a test in hard that said I was pregnant. There was so much fear, Dillon was still in school and looking for a better job, and we were trying to figure out what living life together looked like. I was in love immediately though, I didn’t really believe that all couples need 2-3 years together before they have a baby. If this was when God choose to give me a baby I was more than OK with it. After months of being on edge and waiting for the shoe to drop I had a second trimester miscarriage. It was the beginning of our journey through recurrent loss and infertility.

Months of endless tests, trying month after month, consistent vials of blood, needle pricks and ultrasounds we didn’t have any more answers. A 13 week loss and then a 5 week loss, I was at my wits end. No one tells you that being faithful is easy, there were times (and I am sure they will come again) that I seriously questioned whether God was still listening to me.

I always assumed that when Dillon and I started the adoption process we would have a biological child and be “grown ups” (no one really knows what that means). That is not the plan that God had for us.

My best friend had asked me a couple times if I still wanted to adopt and I kept saying that I did but not yet. I wasn’t sure why not yet, Dillon and I had considered starting foster care over the last year and realized that it wasn’t the right season. So why not adoption? I was hooked on my idea of the perfect adoption. I didn’t want anyone to assume that we adopted because we couldn’t have a biological child. On a Saturday morning, Dillon and I were at work and our Elder called. He wanted to check in on us and ask if we had considered adoption as an option. When Dillon told him that we wanted to we just didn’t know if we had the funds (very few people have the funds) He let us know that the church would help if we decided that was what was next for us.

That is where it began. Someone offering to walk with us through the journey was all the push I needed to understand that once again my plan was just that, a plan. God knows what He is doing, me on the other hand, not really.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21